When Elissa Da Costa-Waldman moved to St Albans back in 2013, she did so for a slower pace of life after years in the bustle of central London. By the time she officially joined St Albans United Synagogue in 2014, she was fully involved in synagogue life and the community “It wasn’t long before I was on the board and then fast-tracked to being elected Chair,” she laughs. “There wasn’t really anyone else stepping up, a bit like Moses and Joshua! So I thought, well, I’ll do it. And I’ve never looked back.”
For Elissa, the community has always been defined by its warmth and humanity. “Everyone says it the moment they walk through the door that it’s such a warm and welcoming community,” she says. “In a small shul like ours, when someone’s not there on Shabbat, you notice. You pick up the phone, you check in. We really do look after each other. It feels like an extended family.”
That closeness is felt deeply during difficult times. Elissa recalls how the community rallied around when her husband, Bernard, became unwell. “When he couldn’t say the blessings anymore, people would quietly help him. There was so much kindness.” That same sense of compassion extends throughout the congregation, from hosting bar mitzvahs for children with special needs to supporting multiple shivahs in the same week as sadly happened last year. “We made sure every family felt supported,” she says. “We pull together because that’s what community means.
“The shul is alive with activity and connection with events ranging from Whisky and Wisdom learning evenings that began during Covid to monthly Coffee and Chat gatherings hosted in members’ homes, there’s always something happening. “It doesn’t matter if ten people come or one,” Elissa says. “The point isn’t the numbers, it’s about connection, about community.”
Central to all of this is Rabbi Daniel and Rebbetzen Alli Sturgess whose leadership Elissa describes with warmth and admiration. “They’re really special,” she says. “He’s a wonderful teacher, thoughtful, structured, and always finding ways to make learning meaningful. But more than that, both he and Rebbetzen Alli are approachable and genuinely caring.”
Elissa believes that what makes St Albans special is the blend of dedication, heart, and humility shared by both leadership and members alike. “You can’t do this role unless you care deeply,” she reflects. “It’s not always easy, but when you see the community come alive, people chatting after services, children laughing, everyone celebrating together, it’s all worth it. That’s what belonging feels like.”
She pauses, then smiles. “It’s not just a shul,” she says. “It’s extended family.”
L-R Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mirvis KBE, Rabbi Sturgess, Rebbetzen Alli Sturgess, Chair Elissa Da Costa-Waldman, Vice Chair Jeanette Grenby
10 November 2025